Bowling Vernacular

I will humbly introduce this long over due post as a nostalgic reflection of a by gone era, one that can be represented and modernized to encompass both bowling’s glory days and it’s future. An example of this here in Los Angeles is Lucky Strike in Hollywood. Yet for the majority of the bowling alleys across the country their fate is being turned into dated the moment they are remodeled multi-colored monstrosities as opposed to the classic forms of Mid-Century architecture that many represent.

The popularity of bowling became a great anomaly to me when I realized its scope. On a trip to West Texas, the one thing that struck me above anything is that, no matter how small the town was - 2,000 or 10,000 - every town had a bowling alley. The towns I was in in West Texas, Snyder, Graham, among many all had a bowling alleys. Snyder, Texas; a town of about 10,000 people was located in a dry country, which means that you can not buy booze at any store within the county line (we would have to drive about 20 or so miles out of town to Colorado City to buy beer in bulk) so in a town without much else to do, bowling was an obvious outlet, especially, I imagine, when the alley first came to the town.

I thought this was an American small town thing though. Obviously being part of cities too but for the most part cities have everything so I made a distinction until I went to Sweden and found out it was not just an American small town thing. My Father moved to Sweden years ago and on my third visit he had moved into a town (that when I tell people from Sweden I have been there they always reply, “Why?”) called Karlstad. Karlstad is the last “city” that is as far north before you get into the crazy gnome people villages of the “sticks“. Karlstad although it was a city, was a small town in comparison to other metropolitan areas in Sweden, mainly because of it’s location, and guess what they had, a bowling alley!

Interesting side note, people in Sweden don’t bowl the same way as we Americans do. For example, my friend Tommy and I along with my Dad would cheer for one another, get into the experience. Our Swedish neighbors would bowl down the lanes as if they were all just lobotomized, neither cheering or showing any form joy (that is because of the lack of competition Sweden’s socialist government promotes but that is another story.)

The long winded point I am attempting to make here is that small town and or big city, bowling has somehow woven itself into the fabric of our culture. An institution of recreation when there is nothing else to do. Some claim that bowling originated in primitive cultures that date back to the Egyptians which may mean bowling is part of our instinct… or something.

Although bowling appeared in many forms throughout the ages, in a America it’s popularity hit its peak in the Mid-Century period between the 40s and 60s. Many of the alleys built during this “golden age of bowling” are some of the best representations of modernism, many of which are classic in their form. I tend to find, especially here in Southern California, many buildings in which the exterior and signs are intact but the interiors are all this strange horrible mix of random bright colors. I know that taste change with time but I look at this era not only with romanticism but with Mid-Century modernism now being included along with styles like Victorian, Craftsman, Art Deco, to name a few, as classic forms of architectural styles, it is important to preserve what we have left and to at least appreciate the most representative forms of this style that are meant for public consumption. I took these pictures not only to document, but in some cases to encompass the artistry of some of these designs, sometimes, sadly, in their decay. Some may seem dated but it is important to realize that hip places like The Standard for example riff on the designs of this period and serve it on a plate as new, and if these establishments were handled with care and restored to their original greatness, we would be able to truly see the beauty they may hold as opposed to imagining them as they were.

I can answer any questions about the locations of the alleys, all of which I think are located here in Los Angeles County.

P.S. Corbin Bowl, in Tarzana, has the most amazing unironic Karaoke night of all time. I have only been there twice but each time was literally mind blowing and even the best writing could not even begin to touch on how unbelievable it truly was. Dig if you must.

DOUBLE DRAGON

Speaks for itself. Bad ass ninjaing.

MY NEW FAVORITE WEBSITE: ILOVEALPACAS.COM

Last night, while out eating Japanese food with a friend, CNN played in the background on the flat screen TV. I wasn't really paying attention until in the corner of my eye a commercial came on that was about as funny as it gets. It was for ilovealpacas.com. The subject matter alone made me think it was a joke commercial. So I went home and found out that 'Alpacas have been called "the world's finest livestock investment."' Really?

I have a soft spot for alpacas but for very different reasons. Once in high school, at a homecoming party, the cops came full force to break up the party, most every one there was about 16 and drunk so they were running like hell and jumping walls (I tried to make my escape only to find that my escape path was a trampoline built into the ground that had a huge hole in it in which I sunk to the ground). Everyone who jumped the fence was unwittingly attacked by a swarm of alpacas on the other side. That's funny.

Learn about alpacas and information of the alpaca farm near you at ILOVEALPACAS.COM

TIME TRAVEL IS REAL

Many question the validity of time travel. Recently some revelations have come to fruition about the feasibility of time travel. Well, I wanted to reveal to world, here on The Itinerant, that I, Phil Donohue, have discovered that time travel, is in fact, REAL.

I today, received three e-mails from the future. Monday January 18th, 2038 to be exact. These three e-mails were from PYRAMID, JESUS, and COYOTE. What cool names they have in the future! Their cryptic message was something about how if I am dissatisfied with with my pharmacy, I can go to this "online" "pharmacy" where "medication that you need here and get them shipped worldwide instantly". The link that JESUS gave my took me to a website that sells a product called Viagra as well as something called Cialis and Meridia. Further inquiries brought it to my attention that these pills are meant for erectile dysfunction. Whoa! They have erection problems in the future, and are warning us!

At least that is what I am gleaning so far. PYRAMID, JESUS, and COYOTE may be trying to warn us about what things will be like in the year 2038 if we aren't careful... with our penises... or something..

Geology Smallogy. Bush Knows the Secret: Noah Carved the Grand Canyon.

The issues with the Bush administration are so surmounting it is almost at the point of parody. I can’t even for a moment imagine how one could claim to like him or defend him at this point unless you truly don’t pay attention to anything and vote based on the fact that your family is Republican. I want to preface by saying there is no better between Democrats and Republicans but when it comes to Bush, it’s amazing we don’t make a bigger deal out of him and his administration than we do.

Let’s begin with the obvious stuff:
- Iraq. It is heavily documented that they used 9/11 as a way to push through Cheney and Rumsfeld’s predetermined agenda to go to war with Iraq. They purposefully used intelligence they knew was false because of what they believed. WMDs?
- Afghanistan. In turn all their efforts in Afghanistan to find Bin Ladin were diverted. (The CIA Special Ops, who were the only ones there, had him cornered and requested back up from the military that was refused, and well, he got away).
- No Child Left Behind was a failure.
- Guantanamo Bay breaks international law, ignores the right of habeas corpus, and has changed our standing in the world.
- Attempting to falsely create a panic in regards to Social Security (that he claimed would occur in 2047 wtf?) in order to privatize it.
- The Patriot Act.
- The firing of Federal judges based solely on political differences.
- Katrina.
- The fact that the number of family’s that make under 10,000 a year has risen 36%.
- Leaking confidential CIA operatives to the press in retribution for exposing their false intelligence used in reports and making “Scooter” Libby the scapegoat for Rove and Cheney.
-Walter Reed

All this and the simple fact that he can’t speak and has, an as he put it, an “epileptic” reading list.

The only thing I have ever actually agreed with him on was repealing the Supreme Court’s decision to expand the rights of Eminent Domain to corporations to build Wal Marts, but he just talked about it, so far nothing has been changed. So with all this stuff that is so obvious it’s the little things that slip under the radar that are really unnerving and staggeringly idiotic. Bush caters to religious fundamentalist in our country while decrying others abroad. I just read this small blurb today and I would like to share its insanity with you:

From a press release issued by Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility in December 2006: “Grand Canyon National Park is not permitted to give an official estimate of the geological age of its principal feature, due to pressure from Bush administration appointees. Despite promising a prompt review of its approval for a book claiming the Grand Canyon was created by Noah’s flood rather than by geologic forces, more that three years later no review has ever been done and the book remains on sale at the park, according to documents released today. ‘In order to avoid offending religious fundamentalists, our National Park Service is under orders to suspend its belief in geology,” stated PEER Executive Director Jeff Ruch. “It is disconcerting that the official position of a national park as to the geologic age of the Grand Canyon is ‘no comment.’”

This is part of the Bush administrations attack on science which is reinforced by their commitment for FAITH BASED PARKS!?:

“Bush political appointees are taking our national parks in a new, dangerous direction... In a series of recent decisions, the National Park Service has approved the display of religious symbols and Bible verses, as well as the sale of creationist books giving a biblical explanation for the Grand Canyon and other natural wonders. These moves all emanate from top Park Service political appointees over the objections of park superintendents, agency lawyers, and scientists. A number of fundamentalist Christian and socially conservative groups are claiming credit for these actions and touting their new direct and personal access to Bush Administration officials.”

It is getting harder and harder for me to calmly reason with people about this nonsense. This is not only dumb it is UNCONSTITUTIONAL. What is the benefit of repressing and hiding information that is proven beyond a shadow of a doubt to be true, to protect your belief? If you don’t like science then give back every single modern convenience and commodity you have ever owned. This is not only an attack on information it is an attack on rationality. In my opinion everyone has the right to believe what they want to, but it doesn’t mean you aren’t being stupid or stubborn when ignoring the facts. The Earth is NOT 6,000 years old. We have carbon dating! There are all kinds of animals down the street in the La Brea Tar Pits that are 40,000 years old! This information based on peer reviewed fact and research. It is not a science to date the earth based on the births of apostles. Evolution and Natural Selection are facts. The most ignorant argument I have ever heard is the Evolution is just a theory… so if fucking gravity!

If you believe in Noah’s Arc then you aren’t using you head. The wealth of information that disproves it is astounding. The fact that well, dinosaurs weren’t part of this story (that’s because they didn’t know they existed yet so how could they write about them) or the fact that climate and food sources are determinate in the survival of all species. Now since it was flooding I guess he just dumped the giant squids and blue whales out but um, were they in an aquarium on the boat before this - they must have been frozen in carbonate to survive for so long if there weren’t aquariums on the ship? Or maybe just fish evolved and land animals were created, so why are blue whales and dolphins mammals? This is so confusing! And lets for a moment consider the size of a ship that would carry two of every species of animal (blue whales, elephants, rhinos, kitty cats, and tree frogs), that then would place each one of them in their natural habitat in every corner of the world, some in remote land locked areas. Judging by an animal’s natural instinct they must have been heavily sedated on the Ark. I also wonder how the blind mole rat or the polar bear survived this ordeal? Where were they all made?

Phil, you aren’t supposed to take the story so literally, it’s faith, it is what people believe. Okay then, so if that’s the case don’t try to use logic and reason to explain something that is magical and unbelievable. Creationist believe that dinos and humans were hanging out together (this is of course an ex post facto realization) - that humans were riding on their backs. FUCK YOU. You have to be kind of retarded to even consider that.

This is what our President believes, the President of the United States of America! How does one expect to get logic through to this man, to help change his policies? It’s obvious if you can’t convince someone the Grand Canyon wasn’t carved out by Noah’s sick wakes then you get anything through. So...

… Take Some Fucking Action. It’s the least you can do.